Final Boss From Punch-Out Couldn’t Beat the First

TMZ managed to ambush Mike Tyson while he was out somewhere, and I’d first like to apologize for linking you to TMZ. Unfortunately, the question they asked him was too good to ignore, as they wanted to know if he had ever managed to beat himself in the NES classic Mike Tyson’s Punch Out!! (later just Punch Out!!). Unfortunately, Tyson admits that he never was able to fight himself as he could never find a way to get past the first fighter, the hapless Glass Joe.

Until this point, I wasn’t even sure it was possible to lose to Glass Joe. He’s like the first Goomba in Super Mario Bros., only French and less resistant to damage. Obviously, Mike Tyson was too busy knocking in the teeth of real boxers during the 80s to have spent much time gaming so maybe that provides some sort of excuse. Still, the fact that he could properly identify the character’s name indicates he must have at least played the game once or twice, which is one or two more times than you need to beat Glass Joe.

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There is something comforting knowing that the man responsible for the character that spent most of my childhood absolutely destroying my dreams set a mark for video game futility that I couldn’t even dream of. I always had the hardest time fighting Mike Tyson (and later Mr. Dream), but apparently what I really needed to do was hopelessly wander around the ring, occasionally peaking out from behind my gloves and offering a pathetic punch. It was a strategy Mike Tyson is apparently unable to defend against, most likely because he feels bad beating on someone suffering from a clear head trauma already.

Mike Tyson concludes the interview by discussing what a serious gamer he has become. His favorite titles? That Tour of Duty series, of course. Yep, sure sounds like he is a huge fan of games. He had no further comment on other series he enjoys, but you would assume Super Mario Cousins and Sonic the Hedgedogcatfish were somewhere on that list.

  • inplainview

    Ok, let me first say this article was hilarious.
    However I must say this: this can’t be true. It has to be a case of “I’m going to mention the only name I can remember out of this game and hope I sound like I know what I’m talking about”. I mean it’s Glass Joe were talking about here. It could be possible if you posses basically less than zero aptitude for gaming, but we’re talking about holding up while pressing a small red button repeatedly. No strategy; just hit the guy. Maybe throw in a dodge or two just to mix things up. Maybe Mike Tyson never played it, or maybe he played past GJ and doesn’t remember who he would get stuck at (and really who could blame him if this is the case) and threw GJ’s name out there, but I refuse to accept the idea that he could not advance past Glass Joe.

  • http://HardcoreGamer.com Steve Hannley

    …is this a bad time to say I couldn’t get past Glass Joe?

  • inplainview

    Well, at least it appears that you aren’t alone. ;)

  • RHF

    Hey, someone had to give Glass Joe his only win. :P