Uh-oh.

You know, games like this are almost impossible to review impartially, because they fall into an extreme that can only be appreciated by personal taste. What’s worse is that this game’s direct competitor also falls into such an extreme. However, I’m getting ahead of myself, so let’s backtrack a bit.

Two major tennis game franchises have been rivals for an entire console generation. The first is SEGA’s veteran Virtua Tennis series, born in the arcades, and matured on the Dreamcast and Xbox 360 consoles (with some ports on the side). Having its roots in the arcades, it’s naturally easy to pick up and play, but has an appeal in its not-readily-apparent depth. Anyone can return a volley or a smash with a press of a button, and the in-game engine will usually even help out by making your character perform that extra lunge towards the ball if needed. However, you’ll know the people who are really good at the game by their ability to move around the court like greased lightning in an already fast match, return balls from practically the opposite side of the court, and put spin on said balls in ways you only dreamed.

The other is PAM’s Top Spin, which (quite wisely, from a marketing standpoint) decided to go the more realistic route instead of trying to reinvent the wheel. Where Virtua Tennis’s stick controls and minimalist button setup gave you very decent control over where you send the ball, and the behavior you can bestow upon it, Top Spin goes over the top with its control scheme, giving you more options then you ever thought possible. Every single button on the controller is used to great effect. Gameplay-affecting animations require you to pay attention to your character’s movement as opposed to just flicking the analog stick all willy-nilly in every possible direction while following a flying yellow dot around. Fatigue and dirt can affect your performance. There are no helpful lunges save the ones you create yourself.

Perfect timing is the key to landing even the most basic shots: you have swing options on top of swing options via usage of all shoulder buttons and triggers, and some swings may require three simultaneous button presses or more. The reward for learning all of your control options is the ability to respond to quite possibly every single situation that could ever arise in a real tennis match, and be able to land the ball on any area of the court you may so wish.

Of course, what this all means is that Top Spin 3 is to tennis games what pre-GRID Codemasters titles were to racing games. The controls and playstyle on display here are all well and good, and on paper they’re all kinds of awesome. However, most people, when they attempt to put all of these control options into practice, will surely question whether or not they are all necessary. I’ve played hardcore fighting games that have less complicated control schemes than this, and just getting through the game’s "school" can take hours on end. We’re talking a quarter of a day just to learn how to control the experience of running around and hitting a ball back and forth on a video screen. Some people can see the point, and more power to them. However, I sadly cannot.

It certainly doesn’t help that this game’s rival sports better aesthetics than this title. While TS3 is no slouch in terms of visuals, VT3 seems to have a definite edge. The licensed music, meanwhile, suffers from too many bad choices amongst a couple of luckily decent picks, to the point where the mute button was pressed quite a bit.

The full-featured nature of the game, however, works to its advantage. There’s a robust character creator, which allows for customization of not only looks, but playstyle, swing style, and movement style. Said creator is used for taking an avatar into an equally robust career mode, where one can modify statistics by playing experience-building matches, and perform the usual appearance enhancements by buying clothing. The extra licensing also pays off; it’s much cooler to be playing at, say, the US Open than the pseudo-events that VT3 sports. Minigames are also in, both at the school and in special versus modes. Factor in the online play, and people who like this style of tennis gaming now have just as big of a clubhouse as their arcade-playing brethren to hang out in.

Still, when all is said and done, I have to say about Top Spin 3 what I end up saying about all games that contain a hardcore sim bent: while I respect the approach, it’s most certainly not for me, and since the game does nothing to change my perspective on the matter, I can’t be as kind to it as I’d like to despite said respect. If you liked the previous Top Spin games, or if you wish to study the grand, majestic sport of professional tennis, then you should definitely buy Top Spin 3. But if you want to play tennis, the game, then you should probably go snag a copy of Virtua Tennis 3 (or even Sega Superstars Tennis) on the cheap right now.