Jessica’s Five Cheesiest Lines in Resident Evil: Revelations

A lot of things about Jessica don’t make sense. For instance, she is 95 lbs yet holds a enormous sniper rifle and her tactical gear consists of a catsuit sans a leg. Possibly most odd of all, though, is that she constantly flirts with her partner as there are bloodthirsty monsters trying to murder them.

We’ve decided to compile of list of her five most groan-incuding lines heard in the game. Here they are:

5. After being attacked by some Fenrir “See? This is why I like Chihuahuas.”

4. Parker apologies for getting Jessica into a dangerous situation to which she replies “That’s fine, but you’re buying me dinner next time. And I’m ordering lobster.”

3. Not content to drop the whole lobster thing, near the end of the level she adds “Well… Just don’t forget about that lobster dinner you owe me.”

2. After being attacked by a Hunter, Parker says “They’re after you because you’re a flirt.” to which Jessica responds “Sorry, I don’t date Cannibal Monsters.”

1. Chris is on the ground injured and asks for help, so what’s more comforting than hearing “Me and my sweet ass are on the way.”

She’s just lucky she looks so darn cute in that legless catsuit.