The Bin: MorphX

Some games aren’t worth the $60 release price. Or half as much, for that matter. How many times have you bought a game and told yourself that if it’s terrible, it was only five bucks?  This brings us to the “Bargain Bin” realm of gaming, a second glance at games far enough down that they don’t see light. Guilty pleasures are a blast — so long as no one’s watching. 

For anyone suckered into buying MorphX full price, I sincerely apologize. It has shoddy, repetitive gameplay with voice acting and plot that make as much sense as a deaf man reading in Braille. Russia is invaded by aliens bent on destroying humanity (even the premise is recycled junk). No one would ever call MorphX a good game, but it’s a great Grade B game. Look at why this bargain bin title has enough redeeming qualities to make it a fun “once-through.”

It Tries, Oh So Hard, to Be Cool

Like watching the pudgy white guy on the dance floor, MorphX tries hard to be cool. So hard, it makes the game a comedy. There are FINISHING MOVES! The main character has one single finishing move for a number of the enemies, and they’re pretty lame. The alien A.I. makes me wonder why the invasion was considered a threat, but then again the human A.I. is just as bad. The human enemies still slur out threats like they’re badass. The aliens still have grandstanding names like they’re dangerous. Comical amounts of blood expel. There are a few AA gun moments when all the aliens run at you – in single file lines. Just like a grade B movie, it completely misuses every great video game element.

Ungodly, Terrible Voice Acting

Under normal circumstances, this would be considered a travesty. Now that everyone knows this game is pigeon crap on a hotdog, it’s nothing short of a good laugh. Perhaps it was a lack of interest in writing a decent English script or poor translation. It’s everything, too. Internal monologues, one-liners, dialogue: nothing makes sense. It really is like watching a B movie, and will constantly have you turning to the person next to you to shout “What the F$@%?”

Level Progression: Picking Up the Pieces

The level progression in MorphX is actually pretty neat. Throughout the game, you’re forced to keep an eye out for alien pods that carry neural network-like puzzle pieces. These pieces are applied on a puzzle board unique for each power. If you feel you need shield strength as opposed to night vision for a particular stint, switch over the puzzle pieces. It’s unorthodox compared to the traditional Add-That-Stat progression, and it’s refreshing. The most entertaining part about these puzzles is trying to jerry rig your pieces in order to max out your stats until you have the chance to find more. How sad is it that the level progression is possibly the most entertaining part of the game? And it’s the first compelling reason ever to find hidden items (aside from Mafia II’s Playboys- Yowza!).

Why It’s Worth Pulling from the Bin:

MorphX pales in comparison to other shooter titles in the genre. It is Grade B to the core, and has enough reasons (some good, mostly bad) to play for a bargain price. 505 Games did a great job at making MorphX terrible. It will never be remembered by our children’s children. It will be the game you struggle to recall with a friend, until you both remember it’s the game that tried to sell itself on its own cover with its “9 types of aliens and 9 levels.” Yep, it says that.