Alright, it’s official. NIS America announcements for their Hyperdimension Neptunia series have become indistinguishable from what an Onion parody of a NIS America announcement would look like. They’ve always flirted with lunacy like a deranged prison groupie, but it had always been a harmless sort of crazy. Sure, it might look like the people who were behind the series spent equal time programming and screaming at clouds from their windows, but at least their upcoming title Hyperdimension Neptunia Victory appears to be unique and interesting, in addition to being absolutely insane.
With the announcement of the Hyperdimension Neptunia App for iPhone and iPod Touch, however, it seems like they’ve given up on the game aspect of the franchise so they can dedicate all efforts to the crazy. Details about the app can be found here, but essentially the main gameplay feature is that you get to talk to one of two characters from the games with the goal of making them like you better. The reactions are supposed to be different depending on when you use the app, so presumably if you try to boot it up at 3:00 AM, the girls will scream and serve you with a restraining order. The base package is free, but you’ll have to pay extra if you want to unlock the full version, dress the characters in different costumes, and eradicate that last shred of self respect that had hidden itself deep inside of you.
You know, this gives me an even better idea. What if, and I’m just spit-balling here, someone developed an app for the iPhone that allowed you to talk to people. Not fake people, like this app. But, like, real people. The more you talked to them, the more they would like you and the less likely you’d be to waste money on an app that had you talking to pretend girlfriends from a made up world. Someone get on making that, as soon as possible. That’s something I’d actually pay money for.