Mass Hysteria Erupts As Xbox One Game Cases Are Revealed To Be Backwards

Human sacrifice, cats and dogs living together…video game cases inverted from the way they have been from time immemorial! News reports have been trickling in over the past week about the absolute unthinkable: Microsoft has switched which side of the case the game will be on. Why would they do this? An insane gambit to frighten us away from physical copies? Someone put the instructions for the box making machine in backwards and then just ran with it? A sinister cabal of left handed people looking to confuse us pure, well intentioned righties? Whatever the cause, I’m sure Microsoft is about a week away from being entirely buried by customer complaints. I mean, look at this monstrosity!


Ugh. I think I’m going to be sick. Scroll down! SCROLL DOWN NOW! This will certainly be the moment that future historians will cite when called upon to decide what ultimately signaled Microsoft’s inevitable downfall.

…or, more likely, nobody will care at all because the change is entirely cosmetic and affects nothing. I mean, it is a seemingly pointless change and I’m worried that there appears to be a person on staff whose job it is to optimize game box layout and thought there was room for improvement upon the initial design. The rational part of my brain is telling me this is no big deal and I should laugh at anyone who even utters a single sarcastic complaint about it. But the OCD part of my brain is throwing a fit because change both frightens and confuses me. It is sort of weird popping open a case to find the game on the left side the first time you do it, but I think I’ll manage to get over it some day after some pretty serious counseling. I just hope that day comes before I ruin any more consoles by jamming the booklet in the disc reader out of force of habit.