Slapped Together Rambo Game Trailer is Hilariously Awful

Rambo: The Video Game is an upcoming game based on the first three movies, which were based on the three books, which surprisingly enough were based on the breakfast cereal Captain Crunch. A trailer was released for the game today meant to show off multiple gameplay segments, and I have to think at least three people are getting fired. This is a coordinated effort of mistakes from someone at the company warning us not to buy this game. Think of all the things that a trailer can do to get you excited for a game. Then watch instead what this trailer put together and remember that they are probably trying to actually sell you on buying this. Maybe. I’m not even sure of that anymore.

Almost immediately after the trailer started, I had to check to make sure I didn’t accidentally have my computer on mute, because whoever did the sound editing for this apparently wanted to come up with a creative way to quit their job. At one point, the trailer shows you firing off some sort of automatic weapon while a helicopter fires shells at you and everything on screen is shown to be exploding or dying and you are in the middle of a warzone. Think of what sounds should accompany this image.

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Now imagine instead what you heard was a malfunctioning lawnmower and a slightly unbalanced washing machine. In fact, you don’t even have to imagine. Just start watching at 3:05, turn away from the screen and convince yourself this is the noise that should accompany a helicopter firing missiles at you. Or go to 0:20 where Rambo slides under the world’s first silent tank as it is driven by a flock of seagulls. This can’t be the noise they were going for. Someone mixed up “tank noises” with “ambient bird sounds” and nobody called them on it. At least, I think this is supposed to be a tank. The game is also amazingly ugly, showing visuals that are substandard even if this were a PS2 game. Do you know how ugly a game has to be for me to see an image of Sylvester Stallone and think “aw, he doesn’t deserve that.”

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Then there is the fact the entire trailer is only about one step above a Powerpoint presentation in terms of visual appeal and the long, silent “title” segues stating which feature they are going to show off next are beyond unnecessary. We’re not as dumb as you think we are. Just show us the game, we can figure out what you’re trying to show us. It is like the company was like, “Geez, I dunno. These people are interested in our game. They probably aren’t smart enough to figure out that these segments of shooting are meant to show off the shooting, huh? Put in a big splash that says RAMBO THE GAME SHOOTING before it just in case they forget which game they are watching a trailer for.”

The gameplay isn’t giving the trailer any help here, and even with a competent marketing campaign behind it, I don’t think there is hiding how bad this game is going to be. You can tell they completely ran out of features to show off after they thought it would be a good idea to dedicate a minute to the various quick time events you can take part in. Presumably, the montage showing the player pausing the game was cut due to time constraints.