Backlog Boogie: Find The Invisible Cow

I play a lot of games, most of which are pretty awful. Normally, when I recommend a game to a friend, my advice is taken with an entire container of Morton salt — and rightfully so. The strange, silly, and downright crappy games I’ve played have left me quite fond of anything that isn’t about brushing a horse. With that said, in this whenever-I-feel-like-it column, I’ll suggest some gaming weirdness for you to enjoy; most of which I consider to be better than it probably is — and I’ll do it in as few words as possible.

This time, it’s Find the Invisible Cow

Explaining to someone what Find the Invisible Cow is all about is easy: cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, COW, COW, COW, COOW, COOOW, COOOOW, COOOOOOW! Moo. That’s essentially the game in a nutshell. You listen to an annoyingly repetitive announcer whose whispers turn to passionate shouts as you near the invisible bovine, and click when you’ve discovered its location. It’s that simple.

What’s tricky, though, is explaining to someone why they should waste their time repeatedly clicking a white screen when they could be having experiences like these. Well, as far as mindless time-vampires go, Find the Invisible Cow carries very little weight. You won’t develop any dangerous habits, lose much sleep, or even skip a meal for this “game.” The main reason it’s worth checking out is because: why not? But since you asked, here are a few other reasons:

  • It’s free. Yes, video game quality may be subjective in some cases, but you’d be hard pressed to find more than a handful of free games worth your time. I suppose in that sense, Find the Invisible Cow is worth playing like Human Centipede is worth watching. They’re both awful in terms of quality, but there’s a “so bad it’s good” thing going on. And it doesn’t cost you a cent to experience.
  • Everyone is doing it. I know, I know, conformity and all that hogwash, but according to the game’s statistics, over 6 million cows have been found globally. This is impressive considering the game was built “on a lazy Saturday afternoon.”
  • It’s kinda fun. That doesn’t sound very reassuring, does it? Good, it’s not supposed to. It’s a browser game with nearly no functionality outside of clicking a blank screen until a cow pops up. Perhaps it’s the whole “ironic fun” thing the hipsters keep going on about, because triple-A titles are totally passé, but there’s a hint of amusement to be had if you pretend no other games exist for a spell.
  • It will confuse the f*** out of anyone in the room. Can you tell that I’m running out of reasons? This isn’t a bad one, though. It’s fun to confuse and annoy people, especially if you can do both of those things simultaneously. Thankfully, Find the Invisible Cow features two things that make that possible: the audio is annoyingly repetitious, and the sound quality is terrible. Perfect recipe for some nettlesome entertainment.

There you have it folks, four reasons to murder your time with Find the Invisible Cow. I could probably think of a few more, but they’d get pretty silly. Don’t forget to check back soon for more ridiculous games to marginally enjoy.