Threes-bot Will Destroy Us All, One Match At A Time

Threes is an iOS game where you match tiles to create numbers in multiples of three. A 3 beside a 6 won’t combine, but a 6 beside a 6 will fuse together to form a 12. In theory there’s no upper limit on how high the combination can go, so long as there’s room to keep moving the tiles around on the 4×4 grid, but mere human intelligence probably won’t be able to test the upper limits of numeric possibilities.  Programming a robot to play it is, logically, the only correct and proper thing to do, and the mad scientists at Team Colorblind have proven to be more than up to the task.  The side effect of the robot eventually needing a bigger and more satisfying fix, deciding to paint numbers on humans, then squish them together with its cold metallic hands seems to be viewed as an acceptable price.

The robot moves at a slow, stately pace, taking a swipe every couple of seconds with a cold, unfeeling logic that simply doesn’t care that two high-scoring tiles are side by side, because it knows that score is a byproduct of longevity rather than greed.  Watching it play is a thing of hypnotic beauty, and knowing that it will, eventually, get that 6k tile makes it that much harder to stop watching once the numbers start racking up.  The Threes-bot is sleeping for tonight, but will be streaming again tomorrow as it slowly learns its way towards planetary subjugation.

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