Plants Vs. Zombies Garden Warfare Microtransactions Don’t Harm Overall Experience

In a post made by Brian Lindley over at EA.com, EA announced that they would start adding microtransaction to their Plants vs. Zombies Garden Warfare title. The post is hilariously titled, “Play Plants vs. Zombies Garden Warfare Your Way.” Oh you guys would really let me pay you MORE money if I wanted? You are so kind to let me play it my way! You can pay real money to get more coins in the Sticker Shop, which means you can access new packs and character content more quickly. You can earn all this stuff just by playing the game, but now there is finally an option for someone who wants all the extra superfluous content and decorations in the game but isn’t actually interested in the game itself. We call this demographic of people “suckers” and laugh at how bad they are with money.

After reading over their decision and thinking about it a while, I can loudly and emphatically state that I don’t care at all, and you probably shouldn’t either. I’m not saying I like the idea of microtransactions in a major console release like this. I’m not saying this is good for gamers, or that you should go buy a bunch, or shouldn’t be able to voice your opinion on how EA can stick their microtransactions in various unpleasant locations. But, honestly, it isn’t that big of a deal. And, if you are one of the people making a big deal about it, you most likely haven’t even played the game you’re complaining about.

There is a difference between “pay to play” and “pay to win” microtransactions and “hey, I guess if your impatient go nuts” microtransactions. The former hold chunks of the game hostage until you open up your wallet and pay the ransom. The latter is designed for impatient people that need to get everything NOW I NEED IT NOW WHY DO I HAVE TO PLAY THE GAME MORE TO GET STUFF? This sort of microtransaction falls squarely in the second category, and you can still have a lot of fun playing Garden Warfare without shilling out any additional cash. In fact, if you’ve already been playing the game literally nothing will be changing for you. You have the option to spend real money to get more character content more quickly, or you could just keep playing the game and unlocking it the normal way if you don’t have a head injury.

The way I look at it is like this. Say you go into a delicious ice cream shop and they have all sorts of yummy ice cream for sale. However, in the corner of the store they have a fart machine, where you pay money and let the machine fart in your face. Now, I can still enjoy the chocolate milkshake I ordered while I look at all the idiots lining up in the corner to get farted on and wonder what the hell is wrong with them. Them getting farted on impacts my enjoyment no way. So just remember, EA can still make some delicious ice cream from time to time. Just don’t go wandering off to that weird machine in the corner. You won’t enjoy the outcome.