‘Female Villager’ The Most Inconsequential Smash Bros. Roster Addition Ever

In a post to the Miiverse earlier this week, Masahiro Sakurai revealed that the female version of the villager from Animal Crossing will be a playable character. For those not in the know, Masahiro Sakurai is the Smash Bros. series director, and thus his word caries a bit more weight that that one random guy you know on the Internet who’s uncle is totally working on the game and told you that Bayonetta is definitely going to be a hidden character for real so it’s basically official. Here is Sakurai’s official post on the Miiverse which contained the reveal:


How lovely, indeed. Or how inconsequential, really, because there is nothing they could do to this character to make me want to play as them any less than I already do. It isn’t that I dislike Animal Crossing or have a grudge against any of the new characters, because I don’t. But let’s take a look at the roster and play a game of “who would you like to take into battle.”


Terrifying fire breathing lizard that is not currently starring in his own movie.


Space warrior wielding an electro death weapon.


Little girl wearing a floral print dress or little boy contemplating what kind of juice he would like to have with his snack.

If you picked option three, congratulations! You hate children and like to see them suffering. I know Smash Bros. is always trying to have a big cast that encompasses many of their games, but the Animal Crossing villager was never high on my list of characters I wanted to add to the game, regardless of what gender they let me play as. This looks to be less of a new character and more of an alternate costume for an existing character, but there really aren’t too many options for costumes that would make me excited about the villager. Unless they somehow came up with a way to let me import my actual villager from my game into the roster, but that would require work and effort and some sort of weird programming thing that I’m sure Nintendo won’t have the time or desire to implement. Until then, the villager can join the ranks of the Ice Climbers and Jigglypuff as the character on the roster I know I’m not going to play as even before the game even comes out.

Buried a bit here with the news of female villagers is apparently you can play as psychotic villagers as well.


Those dead eyes. They stare right into your soul. Those are the eyes of a man that has killed before and is looking to kill again. “Come visit my town,” they seem to say. “I have an extensive collection commemorating all my previous visitors, and I’d love to add you to it.”