Sears’ Description of the 3DS Must be Seen to be Believed

When one thinks of a video game retailer, they don’t exactly think Sears. The former largest retailer in the United States does indeed sell video games and once carried a respectable selection of them. In fact, I used to frequent Sears to find out-of-print titles in the PS2 era as they would rarely move any stock and inexplicably retain all of it. Since then, they’ve realized that nobody buys games from them anymore and have reduced their video game department substantially. These days, one can only find consoles plus a very slim selection of the most popular series for each of them — Call of Duty, Halo, Zelda, GTA, etc.

It’s a retailer obviously out of touch with the industry and nowhere is that more apparent than on their own site.

On the official product page for the Nintendo 3DS, Sears have written a five paragraph description of the console that is shockingly incorrect. The problems start when talking about the camera: “The 3DS also has 3 cameras so that you can get a clear picture every time.” Obviously, the author hasn’t taken a picture on the console or seen the result. “Additionally, the DS has a built-in GPS, which means you don’t have to buy a separate Garmin or Tom-Tom when you take a road trip. “ Nope, the 3DS doesn’t have that. “You can also take a trip down memory lane by downloading and playing games from older systems like Game Boy Advance, as well as games from the popular NES and Super NES console systems.” Only the Wii U can download GBA games at the moment. “You can play many of your favorite Wii games as well as games from the classic Nintendo systems anytime you want and anywhere you are, making this the ultimate accessory for long road trips and endless flights.” Nope, well, unless you count that port of Donkey Kong Country Returns.

Obviously this is what happens when you have somebody writing about jeans do your video game descriptions.

Check out the full description below:

“When it comes to handheld gaming, you can’t beat the three-dimensional fun of the Nintendo 3DS. While other handheld gaming systems focus on graphics and sound, Nintendo looked for a new and creative way to play games, this time in 3D. The technology in the Nintendo 3DS allows the user to view games and content in 3D without having to wear those silly glasses. Basically, the screen sends a different image to each eye so that you get the full effect of objects flying at you in three dimensions.

It still has two screens and the traditional game play buttons. However, this version, aside from offering three dimensional pictures, has a few added features to enhance your gaming experience. The 3DS has a built-in gyroscope, which means that moving your device will affect game play as much as hitting the down button. The 3DS also has 3 cameras so that you can get a clear picture every time. Plus, the 3DS allows you to project your games onto images of your room, which is pretty cool if you want to incorporate real-life objects into your gaming experience.

If you want to do something besides game, the 3DS can do that, too. You have the opportunity to download games and look at online content from your Nintendo DS. Additionally, the DS has a built-in GPS, which means you don’t have to buy a separate Garmin or Tom-Tom when you take a road trip. You can also take a trip down memory lane by downloading and playing games from older systems like Game Boy Advance, as well as games from the popular NES and Super NES console systems.

If you want a handheld gaming device that is easily to personalize and fun for the whole family, then a Nintendo 3DS should be exactly what you need. With a great variety of games for just about anyone, it is a fun and light-hearted system that can also produce realistic graphics and game play. You can play many of your favorite Wii games as well as games from the classic Nintendo systems anytime you want and anywhere you are, making this the ultimate accessory for long road trips and endless flights.

If you want to get started with a fin pocket-sized gaming adventure, then come to Sears, where we will outfit you with everything you need to have the ultimate Nintendo 3DS experience. Start with a console and a few games, then customize your device so no one else in the family feels entitled to play on your system. You can opt for decorative covers and cases, as well as custom stylus options that fit every personality. Don’t forget to add on extra charger options and other accessories to round out your experience. Browse your great selection to pick out something you will love and play with for years to come.”