Destiny Loot Cave Simulator Launches, Hilarity Ensues

What’s more satisfying than firing into an empty cave for hours on end, watching as geysers of loot erupt in a glorious melding of glowing hues and gluttony?

More content, probably. Sadly, that’s several months (and dollars) away. So with Destiny’s glorious “glitch” having been removed (and my glaring lack of friends more apparent than ever), the game has dropped a few notches on my “things I should keep playing because $60” list.

All I want from Bungie is another hollow rock formation to shoot up. I mean, the chase for goodies is too wearying for what little playtime I have available these days. Is that really asking for so much?

Enter Loot Cave Simulator (or Interactive Cave Shooting Simulator). Developed by Daniel Rosas, the browser-based simulator makes a game of shooting into a grey hollow as green, blue and purple orbs (clearly a clever copy of Destiny’s engrams) scatter with every few bursts. The game, which unabashedly parodies the now-infamous Loot Cave, even includes a pointless leveling system that doesn’t seem to do a damn thing.

Unfortunately, there’s a fixed position and all the colorful spheroids are just for show, so Destiny still takes the belt in interactivity. However, Interactive Cave Shooting Simulator only ends when your patience does, so if you like shooting into holes and staring at lustrous balls, click these words right here. If nothing else, it’s good for a quick laugh.