Square Enix Files Trademark For ‘Mevius Final Fantasy’ In Europe

Recently, Square Enix trademarked the title “Mevius Final Fantasy” in Europe. There’s little information available, outside of it being filed in English on March 10, 2014 (and its listing under the general gaming categories for goods and services).

Obviously, there are still a lot of questions that demand answers, such as “what platforms will this be for?” and “will it be any good?” and “what the hell does mevius mean anyway?” In my completely nonscientific and dangerously uninformed opinion, the answers to those questions are “I have no idea,” “probably not,” and “a brand of Japanese cigarettes.”

No, seriously. I Googled mevius to try and get some sort of idea as to what kind of game this might be and the first result was a Wikipedia page indicating that Mevius is a Japanese brand of cigarettes. And apparently, it’s an absurdly popular brand at that; the fifth most smoked brand in the entire world, to be exact.

 

Some predictions: The final boss in this Final Fantasy game? Emphysema. Limit breaks have been replaced by smoking breaks, and after the power bar fills up the character excuses himself to go outside while all of his coworkers complain about the smell and threaten to take up smoking just for the extra time off. The role of talking, humanized animal creature that is contractually obligated to appear in your party for all Final Fantasy games will be filled by special guest, Joe the Camel.

We hope to have some real information for you shortly. And remember kids, don’t smoke.