Binding of Isaac: Rebirth has been out for a little while now and hardcore Isaac enthusiasts have probably already done just about all they can in the game. They might even be familiar with most of the “way too many to possibly remember them all” items, although they might not be able to recall them all from sight just yet. There are certain items, however, that are etched into my mind forever.
The run killers. The fun stoppers. The signs that RNGesus has abandoned us. The… uh… bad things.
With so many items to pick up in the game, there were bound to be plenty of duds. These items are not just duds, and picking one up can send an otherwise fine run tumbling towards the precipice of failure and tears. These are the Binding of Isaac: Rebirth items to avoid at all costs.
This changes your tears to a charge shot, where a fully charged eye will shoot off four tears in tight succession. The tears are not any stronger, and in the time it takes to charge you can probably already have connected with three to four tears anyway. So, in the best case scenario, this pickup is mildly annoying and utterly useless.
Then comes the caveat that if you get hit while charging your shot you are immediately teleported out of the room and into some other random location and the minor annoyance grows into a tremendous frustration. Now your goal is to get through every room without getting hit once while you’re charging – lest you have to start the whole thing over again! This essentially means that for next to no benefit, you stand a sizable chance of having to repeat an entire boss fight every time you get hit.
The first time I grabbed this – not knowing what it was – I ended up making it to the Boss Rush and got hit while charging on the second-to-last pair of bosses. It took all of my fortitude not to launch my computer out the window.
Soy Milk –
The good news: your rate of fire goes way, way up, giving you the ability to flood your enemies with tears.
The bad news: your damage plummets to almost nothing, so have fun with boss fights now taking about ten minutes each.
The rate of fire increase is nice, but it feels like you’re rapidly flinging peas at a tank. The increased rate of fire doesn’t offset the fact you are now lobbing something less damaging than actual tears, and it takes twice as long to kill most enemies. Rooms take forever and it’s easy to get swarmed in cramped quarters while you try to chip away at a housefly. Let this be a lesson to you kids – soy milk is gross and should be avoided at all costs.
Bob’s. Goddamn. Brain.
This is one of the familiars that follows you around and shoots in the same direction as you when you fire. It’s even worse than the excruciatingly slow fly because it seems to be actively trolling you. If its bullets contact an enemy they explode, and if you happen to be in the enormous blast radius they take a substantial chunk of your health with them.
If you have only average speed in a room of fast-moving enemies, this is essentially the “game over, hope you like your next run” item. In order to damage the enemies close to you, you need to fire tears, but if you fire tears you fire Bob’s Brain, and if you fire Bob’s Brain you end up damaging yourself. Small rooms full of enemies are already death traps, and now you’re forced to time your shots while you dodge enemies to avoid getting caught in your own crossfire.
To top it all off, it doesn’t even fire in a predictable fashion. There’s always a bit of delay between shots, meaning that it only ever hits things at painfully close range. If you accidentally collect a Bob’s Brain on your run then you may as well just reset to avoid the headache.