188.6 Reasons to Buy The Order

Now that it’s the week of February 16, there’s likely only one thing on gamer’s minds: how many part-time jobs will I have to get to support my time with Evolve? Oh, and we suppose there is that little matter of the biggest PS4 exclusive launch since inFamous: Second Son almost a year ago. That’s right, after nearly two years of anticipation, The Order: 1886 will finally be hitting store shelves this Friday. But with so many big titles on the horizon, is it a game that deserves your hard-earned money? We’ve decided to find nearly two hundred reasons why it certainly is.

Enjoy:

1. Real pretty graphics
2. King Arthur and knights of the round table
3. The first and only White House wedding took place in 1886
4. Ready at Dawn did the Wii port of Okami
5. Stirring Soundtrack
6. Zeppelins — and lots of them
7. Sexy mustaches
8. Mysterious news reports
9. No one from 1886 is alive today, so it’s the best way to connect with your past
10. British accents
11. British teeth
12. Atmospheric fog
13. Excellent voice acting
14. Werewolves
15. Arsenal played their first soccer match in 1886
16. Whywolves?
17. Some of these developers were from Naughty Dog
18. Alternate history timeline
19. Some of these folks were from Blizzard
20. Ready at Dawn made Daxter
21. First original console game for Ready at Dawn
22. First original game for Ready at Dawn
23. PS4 Exclusive
24. Levels feel alive
25. People liked their women bigger and bustier in 1886
26. No but seriously, those graphics drool
27. Excellent gunplay
28. Meticulously rendered drool
29. Sure-fire sepia tone award winner for 2015
30. Best steampunk game unplayable via Steam
31. Dirigibles
32. It’s the first big PS4 exclusive in years
33. French names are fun
34. No, that’s Steambot Chronicles
35. Nikola Tesla is a bro
36. Isn’t Troy Baker in This?
37. Nikola Tesla >>>> Edison
38. Nikola Tesla > Nikola Suprak
39. Troy Baker might be in this
40. If not, Nolan North
41. Can they get Kevin Spacey? They should get Kevin Spacey
42. There’s a Collector’s Edition
43. Ghostbusters
44. STEAMPUNK Ghostbusters
45. But the ghosts are WEREWOLVES
46. Automated vertical ascension device
47. Cover
48. Guns
49. Cover AND Guns
50. Ready at Dawn got stunning graphics out of the PSP
51. Crossbows
52. Quick time events that actually kinda look cool
53. So we could wind up with something that holds up nicely towards the end of the PS4’s life
54. Glowy blue light guns
55. Mustaches so realistic they will make you sneeze reflexively
56. New engine use ensures things should at least feel fresh
57. Because N4G needs something to fanboy over
58. There’s a lot going on
59. Impressive wind effects against clothing
60. Super bowl commercial
61. Enemies are freakin’ creepy
62. Enemies are super good looking
63. Better than that other cinematic game involving “Santa Monica”
64. Shoving soldiers’ heads in gate doors
65. Textile scans led to more realistic textures
66. Austin Wintory makes sweet love to your earholes
67. The developers like cosplaying, so they mean business
68. Cloth shading technology used
69. Jason Graves too
70. Young dev crew with a point to prove
71. There are 1886 reasons to look forward to it, but a damsel in distress aint one
72. A fresh new PS franchise
73. The Order main characters might be in PS All-Stars 2
74. There probably won’t be a PS All-Stars 2, so might as well start buying other PS4 games
75. Blimps
76. Giant Clocks
77. Realistic motion capture animations
78. If Sony invests more money in this they won’t accidentally make PS All-Stars 2
79. Lots of blood
80. Has better werewolves than Twilight
81. Set in London. Werewolves American?
82. Story looks dramatic
83. Lighting looks dramatic
84. Drama looks dramatic
85. Fights on a bridge
86. Dat water
87. Fights on a zeppelin
88. Fights on a train
89. Fights on a buggy
90. Fights with an automobile
91. Quick action scenes (when you press the button that appears)
92. Looks graphically better than most movies do
93. 30 FPS, very cinematic
94. Full orchestra for the soundtrack
95. Pre-order bonuses
96. More like the-order bonuses amirite?
97. Great source of puns
98. Better than a $18.86 steak
99. Great source of fun
100. Pre-order bonus includes a book, and books are for winners
101. Not as good as a 188.60 steak but it comes close
102. Better than Sonic Boom
103. Better than Watch Dogs
104. Better than having pins driven into your fingernails, which is better than sonic boom
105. No social media in the game
106. Most embroidered game ever
107. The main character could probably pass as Nigel Thornberry
108. True Next Gen Buzzwords
109. Stickers to wear, so you look good on dates
110. Swords
111. Magic healing water stuff
112. Shooting grenades in mid-air
113. Replayable chapters
114. Victorian era
115. Goes for a believable fiction focusing on reality
116. Doesn’t max out the PS4
117. Won’t burn your house down
118. Won’t murder your pets
119. Trophies
120. Trophy Incest, if the game come to PS Vita.
121. To support it so Sony brings it to PS Vita
122. New IP opens the door for The Order X Order Up crossovers
123. And fanfics. So many fanfics
124. You don’t want Xbox One to win this generation, do you?
125. A dime could get you a lot of food in 1886
126. A british lady
127. Ladies?
128. Grover Cleveland was the president of the US in 1886
129. You love Grover Cleveland
130. No, Grover Cleveland is not a muppet.
131. 1886 in reverse is 6881, so we could see The Order: Distant Future Warfare soon if the game sells well
132. Directed by Ru Weerasuriya. Try saying that five times fast.
133. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesuriyaaaaaaaaa
134. British steampunk Ghostbusters >>>> Grunting space marines
135. It’s a video game for the refined palette *takes a spot of tea*
136. Grim Dark near-past > grim dark future
137. Our school system is failing, so this may be the closest our generation gets to a history lesson
138. Might inspire more Tesla-related guns in other games
139. Robert Arthur Talbot Gascoyne-Cecil, 3rd Marquess of Salisbury
140. Dragon thing in emblem can do auto-fellatio
141. Might have story-focused DLC, apparently
142. More brown than any other game on the system
143. Lanterns
144. Inspired by Metal Gear Solid
145. Inspired by Alien
146. Inspired by James Bond
147. Metal Gear Solid V isn’t out yet
148. Inspired by that one time Ru Weerasuriya took peyote before seeing the wolfman
149. Makes you want to eat popcorn
150. Tesla’s a strapping man
151. Inspired by The Last of Us
152. Tesla Roadster is a fantastic car!
153. Will make you look like a champ when you walk out of that Gamestop
154. Will give Sony more money
155. Sony could always use more money
156. Your great great great aunt Gertrude’s favorite game
157. We’ll be talking about this game at the end of the year
158. Rooms with body parts on the walls
159. Growling
160. Looks a bit like BioShock
161. Remember how cool BioShock was?
162. When people say ass they meant donkey
163. Makes the comment sections light up like Christmas trees
164. When people say donkey they mean your mum
165. Shotgun blasts
166. Blast processing
167. Rips off that one scene from Resident Evil
168. Getting in werewolves’ faces
169. Takes place 65 millions years after dinosaurs roamed the earth
170. Girls with guns
171. And 1886 years after Jesus Christ was born
172. Makes us hate 2014 even more
173. No such thing as Friend Zoning in 1886
174. Sexy box art
175. The more PS4 games on a shelf, the better.
176. All the love of fog without going outside
177. Mutton chops
178. Bearded grins
179. Looking away from explosions
180. Walking away from explosions
181. Walking away from explosions in slow motion
182. Bearded women
183. Lots of lasers
184. Thermite Gun
185. Cobblestone path sounds are beautiful
186. Cobblestone path textures are beautiful
187. More streets should have cobblestones
188. Combo rifles
188.6. Tesla coil gun