188.6 (More) Reasons to Buy The Order

Earlier in the week, we listed off 188.6 reasons to buy The Order. While that may sound like a staggering amount, it actually just scratched the surface of the myriad of reasons to pick up the PS4’s first big exclusive of 2015. There’s so many reasons, in fact, that we decided to devote another article to them.

Bon appétit:

1. Authentically burnt parchment

2. It’s like Occupy Wall Street with 1886% more werewolves (so way better than actual Occupy Wall Street)

3. Comes in a PS4 bundle in Europe

4. No discernible pornographic content featuring children

5. This game does have daytime segments

6. It’s just that, well, the daytime was really dark back then in London

7. Horsies

8. Horses

9. Hundred-year-old dudes

10. The Order: MDCCCLXXXVI

11. An order you can make without being pestered by restaurant workers

12. That one person in Ready at Dawn who dressed like Batman

13. Ready at Dawn hasn’t made a game that scored under a 80 on Metacritic

14. Two even scored over 200 (note to editor: please fact check this)

15. Their lowest scoring game was Daxter, and Daxter is a reason to buy this game!

16. Looks better than Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within

17. Broken rafters

18. Particle effects!

19. Don’t need to worry about upgrading your graphics card

20. No Jay-Z soundtrack

21. Yorkshire Tea is established in Harrogate, UK

22. No Linkin Park music (until the inevitable “Numb” music video)

23. Lots and lots of top hats

24. “Blacksight” is definitely not bullet-time

25. Made E3 attendants squeal in pleasure

26. Lots of slicked-backed hair

27. Good for the hair gel industry

28. Main character looks like a super villain

29. Main character probably is the supervillian

30. The story isn’t that simple

31. Fancy haberdashery

32. Will teach you what haberdashery is

33. New graphics load up on the eerie shadows

34. Gallahad is a pretty swell Noble Knights card (if you get this reference, give yourself a pat on the back)

35. Drinking tea is cool in 1886

36. Future guns in the olden days

37. Because Assassin’s Creed doesn’t have these uniforms

38. Because Assassin’s Creed isn’t a PS4 exclusive

39. Because Assassin’s Creed Unity

40. Werewolf-infested London subways slightly nicer than real ones (BOOM take that, David Cameron)

41. Edison never worked at Naughty Dog, and seriously, eff that guy #TeamTesla

42. Realistic wind effects

43. “Charles Williams, British author born”

44. Bodes well for other realistic weather

45. Relentless pursuit of evil in all forms, filled out in triplicate

46. A weapon called “the monocular”

47. Stained glass windows

48. American pharmacist Dr. John Stith Pemberton invents a carbonated beverage that will be named Coca-Cola

49. Realistic depiction of printing press

50. PS4 was apparently quite accessible for the devs

51. DLC has new items

52. Yes, DLC can be a reason to buy a game

53. Cocaine-filled Coca-Cola was not a pre-order bonus

54. That’s a good thing

55. Downloadable on PSN

56. Even in digital form, you can’t even get a PDF of the formula

57. Modern field hockey was created in England during this year

58. Action-adventure title

59. Statue of Liberty dedicated in 1886 – if you don’t buy this game, you hate America

60. You hate America; buy it anyway

61. Probably features the voicework of Troy Baker

62. Society was sexist back in 1886 so it’s okay for The Order to be sexist

63. Yet The Order still isn’t sexist so hurray for that

64. Then again, society is still sexist today

65. Will probably have a hashtag created by Sony to promote it

66. #CanITakeYourOrder

67. More than 50 shades of grey

68. At least 1886 shades of grey

69. Corsettes probably

70. 6881 shades of brown

71. It’ll be a good source of fanart

72. And fanfic

73. Could spawn another 50 Shades of Grey

74. Unlike 50 Shades of Grey, won’t ruin your Valentine’s Day

75. Or cost you thousands of dollars in an ER visit for reasons you won’t admit

76. Artbook already on the way

77. Lycans transform

78. Train battles

79. Ziplines

80. “Ziplines” sounds like “zeppelins”

81. Did we mention zeppelins are awesome?

82. You get to rappel down a zeppelin and how awesome is that?

83. Decorative costumes

84. Steampunk alternate history. Possible sequel to 80 Days?

85. 80 Days was Time Magazine’s Game of the Year, so there’s that

86. Gold and silver buttons

87. Could convince you to buy a PS4

88. Could convince Xbox One owners to buy a PS4

89. Gold-plated lead buttons! Feel the poisoning!

90. Could spawn The Order: 1886 movie from Uwe Boll

91. Hey, Uwe Boll needs to eat, too

92. Clocks and steampunk: a watch made in heaven

93. It’ll hold you over until Uncharted 4

94. All the joy of war, without the internal bleeding

95. Length depends on your skillset

96. You have a very particular set of skills

97. Stagecoach

98. Members of the Order get drunk on authentic William Grant & Sons whiskey

99. Kickass logo

100. Ponies

101. Fancy hat-wear

102. Prostitution wasn’t illegal in 1886

103. Impressive horse physics

104. Horses dont run into trees, but they run into buildings

105. Cobblestone

106. All the excitement of horses without the painful bucks to the face

107. Great Vancouver Fire singed off Geoff Thew’s great grandfather’s ponytail

108. “Pew pew” sounds

109. The Order 1886 will make you grateful for first world luxuries

110. Representation of Londoners in games

111. More fair to Londoners than the getaway

112. Makes Americans jealous

113. Releasing in multiple territories

114. Watch out for territorial werewolves

115. Streetlamps

116. It’ll make your girlfriend jealous

117. Or boyfrend – we’re equal opportunity here at Hardcore Gamer

118. (But who are we kidding. you don’t have either)

119. But, hey, it will fill the void!

120. Great way to distract your kid

121. Prepare your spawn for games

122. Great source for Let’s Players

123. It’ll give you a lot to talk about at parties

124. (As we’ve shown thus far)

125. Great source of cosplay inspiration

126. Sony won’t take 40% of your streaming revenue

127. Won’t cost $45 for 3 months of access

128. Great for the modern gamer despite its intended audience being long dead

129. Not in Early Access

130. Ending is probably on the disc

131. No freemium content

132. If nothing else, it’s a AAA game with promise

133. Will probably end up becoming a franchise

134. That means you get to give more money to Sony

135. It’s always a good thing to give more money to Sony

136. Almost certainly will get comic book spin-offs

137. Has a Facebook page with more than 65,000 likes

138. Mark Zuckerberg invented Facebook in 1886, according to a post I just made on Facebook

139. Zuckerberg might be a werewolf

140. Just look at him and tell me that guy’s not a werewolf

141. Has a string section in the soundtrack

142. It will teach you to mind your manners

143. Hugh Jackman as possible lead role for movie adaptation

144. Hugh Jackman is a very attractive man

145. Sorry, I just got distracted looking up “Hugh Jackman’s chest” on Google Images

146. Game disc makes for a good shuriken (disclaimer: game disc not intended as any sort of ninja or samurai weapon)

147. Live your facial hair dreams vicariously, without the itch

148. Ready at Dawn is a kickass studio name

149. Despite studio name, will go for sale at midnight

150. Blizzard probably misses them

151. Leather gloves

152. Physical and digital copies

153. You can buy it without one of those dirty Internet connections

154. Internet connections are how you catch lycanthropy

155. BAM. You just caught it. Get off the Internet and go see a doctor, fool

156. Actually, maybe finish reading this article first

157. Crouching

158. Shooting

159. Crouching and shooting

160. Jumping over cover

161. Will probably have its music remixed hardcore

162. OCRemix Presents The Order 1886

163. Soundtrack might get a 7″ single release

164. Airships

165. Monarchic times make for good settings

166. Find love in London!

167. Announcement preceded Kingdom Hearts III at E3 2013. Engage Maximum Hype

168. Rain showers of applause from the convention floors

169. We’d shout at you to buy it but we’re a little hoarse

170. Still inspiring great puns

171. Your PS3 is broken. Time to upgrade.

172. Even if your PS3 isn’t broken it’s still time to upgrade

173. Your mother needs a Christmas present. You know what to do

174. Guaranteed not to make it to the 5 dollar bin at Walmart (disclaimer: not actually guaranteed)

176. “First automobile revealed in 1886, made Benz a household name”

177. If Mario wasn’t enough stache for you.

178. Basically the same thing as owning a Mercedes Benz if you think about it

179. Like Mario but without the color!

180. Getting a PS4 might make you buy a Vita

181. Maybe

182. Perhaps

183. It’s worth a shot

184. It’s historically accurate (if you don’t know history)

185. Great way to relieve stress

186. Cheaper than a dirtbike

187. It’ll fit well on your shelf

188. Might make you want to join the army

188.6. Seriously, what else do you have to do?