Mojang Announces Mine Chest, a Poorly-Executed Loot Crate-esque Subscription Service

Do you have thirty dollars a month that you have no idea what to do with? Do you spending money on vaguely-represented items that you don’t get to choose? Well then partner, does Mojang have the deal for you!

The company has today announced “Mine Chest,” a monthly subscription service that delivers hand-picked (!) official Minecraft goodies straight to your doorstep. Exactly what’s included each month is a closely-guarded secret (that’s not sarcasm, but rather an actual quote), but items will range from t-shirts to super-cool collectibles! (Again not sarcasm). And how much will this cost, you ask? Why only thirty dollars plus shipping and handling and tax!

Considering the similar Loot Crate costs $13.95 a month and frequently includes a t-shirt, this is an insanely expensive prospect (likely tallying in at around forty dollars a month when all is said and done). If Mojang was more clear on exactly what would be included (like a guaranteed premium t-shirt and exclusive figure), it could seem more worthwhile, but at this point it basically amounts to “Give us forty dollars. Here’s a t-shirt!”

Worse yet, there is no monthly option, with a three-month subscription being the minimum. That’s a lot to invest in a “you’ll totally probably get some cool stuff” deal.

With Minecraft merchandise literally littering the aisles of most every store (much of which will likely be thrown into the crate), it’s hard to see any sort of appeal, but interested parties can decide for themselves here. Act quickly, though, as it’s in a limited supply (not sarcasm) and guaranteed to sell out quick (sarcasm)!